grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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