honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
