just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
