having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So squirting runs in the family.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
