It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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