I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
