I heard we made out
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
