She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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