Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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