Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
