hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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