So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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