We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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