Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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