If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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