found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
