If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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