saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
