Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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