I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize