Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
