You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
