If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
