I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
