I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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