fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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