I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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