but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
