I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
