UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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