Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
