Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
