There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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