Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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