Is it normal to miss your booty call?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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