Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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