oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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