that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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