They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
