Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
