So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
