I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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