Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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