Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
