Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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