she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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