I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
