I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
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