dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
