the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize