Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
