I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
