Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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