Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So much rum. So many feels.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
