chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
