one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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