At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
