I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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