mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
