watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I have post one night stand depression
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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