he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
