girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
