we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
