we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
