i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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